Irreverent Jeff Foxworthy Prose
It seems that I've been making a post at least once a week, usually on the weekend. I have failed to post this past week and have been reminded by many people to do so. Apparently there are people out there who read these writings. And for that I can only say...HOW DARE YOU!!! PERVERT!! Would you take a peek behind the curtain when your sister was taking a shower?? I THINK NOT! You're nothing but a bunch of naked bathing sister watchers! And for that I a thank you.
Not much had happened last weekend, I just wanted some time for myself after I came back from the intense Kyoto weekend. A feeling had come over me similar to the feeling of coming home from vacation, what do I do now? I can't explain how I felt, but I just wanted to be alone and sulk in my own chocolatey tears. But I did do some serious shopping!! I needed jeans and grey hoodie to specific and went to Harajuku for that. And picked up some cds in Shinjuku. And scoped out Tokyu Hands in Shibuya. And withing these 5 days of this shopping extravaganza I realized that I hate shopping. And I hate shoppers even more. I mean I love a good platinum shoe as much as the next guy but I'm not willing to drop 8,950 yen on a friggin T-shirt. There are a million stores than I've ever seen in America, many offering vintage goods for 8 times the retail price. And everyone eats it up. I seen a considerable amount of shirts, bags, hats that I really adored but now I realized that everyone goes out of their way to fit a particular style. If you wanna look grunge, your gonna prolly spend $80 on torn jeans, and $50 on a flannel shirt, and $120 to get your hairstyled like you dont take showers. Everyone here wants to look like a rock star, or an anime character, or a b-boy, or a gangster, but a truth of the matter is that they all look like clowns.
ringling bros. representative
Oh my god I almost forgot! People actually bronze their skin to match the tone of California women, and put white make up around their eyes to make their eyes appear to be the shape of American eyes. Why not give them red lipstick, a cane and they'll do a song and dance for you. But people really bend over backwards to look hip, much more so than any American I've ever met. And I'll admit that I came here looking for a new backpack, shoes, and a watch. But that's it. I try to go shopping or even browse and I can't. There are too many choices, too many stores, too many products, and too many teenagers with too much money. I'm a very simple many with simple needs: Jeans and a Grey Hoodie. I luckily found some after 5 hours of searching in one store. I miss land of the free where I can stroll into a thrift store and buy a pair of jeans with poop stains on the front, an awkard fitting Marvin the Martian T, and a corny safari hat that I prolly will never wear. And for $8! But no, I'm forced to buy a replica vintage T-shirt with Mickey Mouse giving Mr. T a hug. OOOOO theres a hole near the collar, now its gotta be $50.
"You know you're a Japanneck when you paint your skin to look like Tupac but still look like a Japanneck."
GOD FORGIVE MY HATRED. MAY IT BE SUPPRESSED TO THE DEEP BOWELS OF HELL. JUST ALLOW ME UNDERSTAND LORD.
AMEN.
Not much had happened last weekend, I just wanted some time for myself after I came back from the intense Kyoto weekend. A feeling had come over me similar to the feeling of coming home from vacation, what do I do now? I can't explain how I felt, but I just wanted to be alone and sulk in my own chocolatey tears. But I did do some serious shopping!! I needed jeans and grey hoodie to specific and went to Harajuku for that. And picked up some cds in Shinjuku. And scoped out Tokyu Hands in Shibuya. And withing these 5 days of this shopping extravaganza I realized that I hate shopping. And I hate shoppers even more. I mean I love a good platinum shoe as much as the next guy but I'm not willing to drop 8,950 yen on a friggin T-shirt. There are a million stores than I've ever seen in America, many offering vintage goods for 8 times the retail price. And everyone eats it up. I seen a considerable amount of shirts, bags, hats that I really adored but now I realized that everyone goes out of their way to fit a particular style. If you wanna look grunge, your gonna prolly spend $80 on torn jeans, and $50 on a flannel shirt, and $120 to get your hairstyled like you dont take showers. Everyone here wants to look like a rock star, or an anime character, or a b-boy, or a gangster, but a truth of the matter is that they all look like clowns.
ringling bros. representativeOh my god I almost forgot! People actually bronze their skin to match the tone of California women, and put white make up around their eyes to make their eyes appear to be the shape of American eyes. Why not give them red lipstick, a cane and they'll do a song and dance for you. But people really bend over backwards to look hip, much more so than any American I've ever met. And I'll admit that I came here looking for a new backpack, shoes, and a watch. But that's it. I try to go shopping or even browse and I can't. There are too many choices, too many stores, too many products, and too many teenagers with too much money. I'm a very simple many with simple needs: Jeans and a Grey Hoodie. I luckily found some after 5 hours of searching in one store. I miss land of the free where I can stroll into a thrift store and buy a pair of jeans with poop stains on the front, an awkard fitting Marvin the Martian T, and a corny safari hat that I prolly will never wear. And for $8! But no, I'm forced to buy a replica vintage T-shirt with Mickey Mouse giving Mr. T a hug. OOOOO theres a hole near the collar, now its gotta be $50.
"You know you're a Japanneck when you paint your skin to look like Tupac but still look like a Japanneck."
GOD FORGIVE MY HATRED. MAY IT BE SUPPRESSED TO THE DEEP BOWELS OF HELL. JUST ALLOW ME UNDERSTAND LORD.
AMEN.
posted by Mikel at Wednesday, October 18, 2006
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